Thursday, September 11, 2008

Movie Meme: Land of the Lost

I’ve been tagged with a meme again. This time, I have to list 12 films that I want to see, but have not been able to; can’t just rent the DVD or go to the theater, it’s got to be something rare and unusual. This was harder than I thought, as you’d be surprised at the things lurking in Netflix’s catalog. But here we go: 12 obscure movies that I want to see, but don’t know how.

1. THE DAY THE CLOWN CRIED. I’ve actually read the script for this. Make no mistake, the odds of this actually being any good at all are equal to those of the LHC actually destroying the Earth, but the infamy factor puts this up high.

2 and 3. STEREO and CRIMES OF THE FUTURE, David Cronenberg’s student films. These were supposed to be on the FAST COMPANY DVD, but I guess only the Canadian release got it or something, because Netflix doesn’t have the bonus disc.

4. THE AVENGERS- the Director’s Cut. You all know why.

5. TAKE IT OUT IN TRADE. Ed Wood’s return to feature directing in 1970, and the first film he made in color. True, it’s a porno movie, but I’m a completist. So far only clips have surfaced, though I swore Rudolph Grey wrote about the entire film being found.

6. NECROMANIA. Wood’s last film. This was actually on DVD at some point, but Amazon only has it from sellers charging prices starting at $66. Also porno, and from all accounts not very aesthetically pleasing porno, but again, it's Ed.

7. LONDON AFTER MIDNIGHT. Photographs from this Lon Chaney mystery/horror silent are quite common in books and magazines about horror movies, but not a single scrap of actual footage has been found. There was a recreation using stills not too long ago.

8. SONG OF THE SOUTH. I remember seeing this as a kid, possibly during its theatrical rerelease. I’m sure it’s at the very least racially problematic, but it’d be interesting to see how it holds up as a movie and just to what extent the stereotypes get in the way of that.

9. GANGS OF NEW YORK: Scorcese’s director’s cut. As it stands, GANGS is a flawed classic; perhaps we could remove the “flawed” if Harvey’s ego would get out of the way.

10. LET IT BE. The legendary documentary of the Beatles breakup; obviously the surviving Beatles aren’t comfortable releasing it, but it would be nice to see.

11. MYSTERY SCIENCE THEATER 3000: THE MOVIE- another extended cut. Universal apparently really got nervous about this movie and lopped off huge chunks of it, including an entire “host segment”/arc thing (and huge bits of THIS ISLAND EARTH are missing as well.) What’s weird about this is that they only spent about $1 million on the picture to begin with, and didn’t bother promoting it at all; why bother micromanaging a film you're dumping anyway?

12. DIARY OF THE DEAD: the Unrated version. It’s easy to tell that a lot of gore was censored in the film’s release, and I fully expected there to be an unrated DVD, but alas, there aren’t even rumors.

I'm supposed to tag five, but I am rubbish at tagging, so again: if you're reading this and have a list of your own, go on ahead.


Adam Ross said...

Good call with "Song of the South," I also saw it theatrically as a child (I think it was re-released in 1984). I've never seen what the fuss is about, it couldn't be any more offensive than Dumbo's jazz-playing crows. I hope it ends up on DVD someday, there certainly would be a lot of interest in it.

Neil Sarver said...

Congrats! That I see you're the only person who has played this game and chosen London After Midnight, which was the first choice I thought of... now, I'm trying to think of 8 or 9...